In today’s fast paced society it is hard to find the time to be present with our existing family and friends and even harder to make new friends that you actually have things in common with.  However, in the last 2 years here at Castleford Yoga studio I have seen many friendships blossoming.  Strangers have become yoga buddies, yoga buddies have become friends who stay in touch outside of class and support one another in their yoga journey.  The founding members are a wonderful bunch of people, warm, welcoming, and love to help new people settle in when they first arrive.  They generously share their highlights and the difficult times they have gone through over the last 24 months.

Did you know that in some yoga studios the actual classroom is a place of silence?  Before you enter you might see a sign that says no talking and people simply arrive and lay down on their mats.

Here at Castleford Yoga making friends and building a community is encouraged. The yogis love to catch up before and after class and to get to know one another. I know every person who attends class by name, I notice when you haven’t been and care how you are getting on with life and your yoga practice. You are not just another number, as you may be if you practice in a gym class. We don’t take ourselves or the practice too seriously – a good giggle can be so healing and cleansing!

Sometimes when we start expanding our horizons the people in our life who are not ready to go there might be a little apprehensive or even unsupportive of our new activities. Finding someone in your yoga class who is as interested in the practice and what it has to offer as you are can help you stick to it when the initial novelty has worn off.

 

BE HERE – BE PRESENT

 

Next time you attend class, make time to chat to your fellow yogis before the class begins.

Arrive at the studio early and providing it’s not raining wait at the door, instead of hiding behind your Facebook in the car, which will give you time to catch up with the other people in your class as they arrive. What have they been up to since you last saw them?  Have they been practising at home at all? Which yoga poses are they enjoying at the moment? Are there any they are struggling with? Take the time to compliment them on that amazing yoga mat you have been admiring for the past few weeks. Tell them about the book you absolutely can’t put down at the moment. (I would hope it is The Dalai Lama’s Cat, but if not, then check that one out!)

Maybe if someone hasn’t been for a little while, you can tell them that you noticed they weren’t there last time. You can tell them about the funny, hard or new things that happened whilst they were away. We all like to know that we matter and that people care about us. Showing someone you noticed them missing class can make all the difference to them.

Take the initiative – you have been chatting with the same person for months and months but kind of missed the boat asking their name. You obviously get on otherwise you wouldn’t keep chatting. Forgetting to ask for a name happens to everyone sometimes. No one is going to be cross about you asking, in fact they will be delighted that you have taken the first step, chances are they are wondering what your name is too.

 

Help new people settle in.

If you spot someone new ask them if they have been before? Perhaps they usually attend a different class time or maybe they are brand new and are looking for a bit of reassurance and help settling in.

Share something about your yoga journey. Ask how they found out about the class? Sharing why you are practicing might reveal you are there for a similar reason.

Think about what you might find helpful and what you might be worried about when you start something new in a new place. Explain some of the rules that the studio has to help the person navigate their first class. Show them where the facilities are and where to put their shoes. Help them get the equipment they need and offer them to take a space next to you so you can continue your conversation. Warn them their instructor is a crazy cat lady and find out if they have any pets. Find out if they live locally, maybe they are even from the same area as you, but you’ve never seen them before.

There is nothing more satisfying than helping someone who needs help. In today’s world where many people feel like they are not needed or what they are doing is pointless we really appreciate the opportunity to make a difference in someone else’s life. To make them smile.

 

New and nervous?

If you are new to the studio, try to get the people that look like they have been before to tell you about the class and themselves. People will be happy to share their opinions and experience. They probably still remember their very first class and will understand that you are a little apprehensive about what lays ahead. Ask how long they have been coming to the class and how it has benefited them.  Find out what other exercise they enjoy. Maybe you will discover they find yoga the perfect partner to the cycling they like to do at the weekend or that they started yoga having been unable to do any exercise for years and now attend several times per week.

When you get into the yoga class room pick a spot for your mat and try to sit with your back to the wall so you can make eye contact with the other people in the room or just simply send a smile. Physically positioning yourself like this will make it easier for you and others to get to know each other and to feel included as soon as you arrive. If you sit on your mat facing to the front of the room you make it harder for other people to strike up a conversation or to join an existing conversation.

Getting involved may be challenging at first but making a conscious effort can make a big difference to whether you feel like an outsider or feel like you have your place at the studio. Becoming involved doesn’t just help you, it helps everyone around and makes the atmosphere at the studio welcoming and supportive. You’ll get a sense of fulfilment through connecting and cultivating meaningful relationships with those around you. Practice your yoga on and off the mat.

In yoga, we believe that we are all connected whether we like it or not. Just by meeting the people at the studio you already know you have one thing in common, you are both interested in yoga. When in doubt ask a yoga related question to get the conversation started.

Following class there is an opportunity to ask me any questions, give feedback and get to know your fellow yogis better. At Castleford Yoga we have a wonderful little kitchen you could use to have a tea with your yoga buddies after class instead of just grabbing your stuff and running off.

 

A challenge for you:

Take the next few weeks to connect with someone new in your class, maybe someone who has always seemed quiet and you haven’t really had the chance to speak with.

So many times in my life I have been proven wrong on my first impression of someone. Many people have interesting hobbies or interests that they don’t wear on their sleeves. Of course, in my case I wear my heart and my love for cats on my fur-covered covered sleeves 😉

You may be surprised to find you have more in common than your yoga practice.

Let’s grow our beautiful supportive little community and make everyone welcome.

See you on the mat soon.

Namaste

Marie